Getting Clean
by Rehgai
Summary: Standing in the shower, Sara washes, but can still see his blood. Escaping into the memories of the past, she hides from the present. WARNING- CHARACTER DEATH, 3rd part of the Why? Series, BUT CAN STAND ALONE!


Title- Getting Clean

Warnings- Greggo's Death, but, if you read the other two, you'd figure it out by now. ALSO! DARKER THAN THE OTHERS, and only will get darker from here.

Summary- Standing in the shower, washing, but still can see his blood. Escaping into the memories of the past, WARNING- CHARACTER DEATH, Companion to Not What He Expected and Losing a Son, BUT CAN STAND ALONE!

Disclaimer- Like I said, if I owned this show, Greg would die frequently, only to return the next week.

A/N- This is dedicated to all those who've read this series, all 421 of you! At least, when I wrote this, there had been 421 hits! I reply to all SIGNED reviews, or, if you leave me your e-mail, I'll reply that way. YOU ARE THE REASON I AM WRITING! Please, review, and I will keep up with the Greggo Angst!

Trying to keep the reflective feel to it, since 80% of the old stories had them reflecting, hoping to keep that same tone! Thank you Kittyluv, my Beta, and half of my brain. Without you, we both know I wouldn't be writing right now. Also, xxDeathlyRosexx! They have added all of my new stories! Makes me feel special. I write this for you. Thank you.

SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME DEDICATION- TO MY DUCKLING, SIR! He keeps me awake, which makes me write.

Standing in the shower, tears continue to fall with the same frequency as those from the shower head. She scrubs her hands, her body, every part of her, but still can see his blood. She couldn't stop smelling the copper, or seeing the way it slowly leaked from his.. a sob escaped Sara Sidle's lips and she closed her eyes and scrubbed harder. She tried not to think of Greg as she last saw him, in the hands of Nick Stokes, paler than pale, and chest still as.. She shook her head, drops of water hitting the tile with a soft plunking noise. She refused to accept the present, and, in her mind, she escaped to the past, remembering Greg as he was.

She remembered all the times she had moments with Greg, and wished for more.

How he would flirt with her,

And she would just brush it off.

How he said he could show her what's it's like to be with a real man,

And she never gave him the chance.

How he asked her on a date,

And she never showed.

How, later that same day, she found a veggie burger at her work bench

And she never thanked him.

How he made her laugh when she wanted to cry

And she could never return the favor.

How he could prove himself time and again,

And she could never tell him how proud she was to his face.

A distant ringing broke her from her train of thought, and Sara looked through the shower water and her tears at the door. It took her a few seconds to realize it was her cell. She had left it on the counter. By the time it dawned on her that she might want to go answer it, the chirping stopped, and her cell didn't ring again. Sighing, she brushed a hand over her face, removing a few wet locks, shivering as she realized the warm water had long run out. Instantly, the brunette knew it was a mistake, because the second her hand came eye level, all she could see was crimson red.

A sob ripped from her throat as she grabbed the sliver of soap, once a full bar when this shower started, and went to scrubbing again. The blood just wouldn't come off. Openly sobbing now, she rested her head against the cold tiles and remembered the darker times, and wishing, once more, for a chance to change everything.

How he had taken the blunt of the explosion in the lab,

And she never felt the heat, only the cut of glass.

How he fought to keep conscious laying on burned tiles, flames and glass dancing around him,

And she never fought the darkness, just accepted it.

How he stayed in the hospital for several nights,

And she never got admitted.

How he tried to save a life,

And she never could do that.

How he was beaten nearly to death,

And she never processed the scene

She took an unsteady breath as her mind drifted to just one night ago..

How he had left, asking her for one more chance, one little date,

And she never got the chance to say yes.

How he got a simple Breaking and Entering

And she never got an easy break

How he was bleeding to death in his best friend's arms

And she never moved from the front door.

That hurt her the most, realizing that, maybe, if she had been able to stay in control, she might have been able to save the ex-labtech. Instead, he had continued to bleed out. By the time she could move, it was to fall forwards, into the blood pool spreading slowly away from Greg. She had already thrown away her pants and shirt, and wished she could do the same with her skin. Nick said it wasn't her fault, there was nothing she could have done, it had been a lost cause.

Slowly, she sank down, sitting in the cold shower, curling around herself as she continued to cry. She mourned the loss of a dear friend, and all the things she would never be able to make right. So many regrets, so many moments past by. Mostly, though, she regretted how…

How he had been taken from this world so brutally,

And she never got a chance to say good bye.

Fin

Please, Review


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